Defining the Shades of Grey
by RomaAroma
Summary: Me trying to define love, explain love. I use real people's responses on love, and true stories. Sounds cheesy, but it's a personal problem I'm trying to help somebody with, thats why I wrote the "cheesy" not story, but views and thoughts
1. What's Love Got to Do With it?

Defining the Shades of Grey  
  
Chapter One: What's Love Got to do with it?  
  
I found the one whom my soul loves. I held him, and would not let him...  
  
~Bible (Song of Solomon 3:4)~  
  
Love. The little word has so much meaning and power, yet nobody can be wrong when they say the feel love. Love has no clear definition; with love nothing is black and white. Everything with love has shades of grey. What is love? It's a simple and classic question that has been asked by many for generations. Do we have a solid definition of love? No, even Webster's Dictionary has many definitions, vague and broad thoughts of what love truly is.  
  
Love of a material object is easy enough to describe and to feel. Love of a relative is common knowledge. What about the person you think is your soul mate? How can you tell if they are "the one" or not? I am going to attempt to answer many of the questions on love, collecting stories of people who realized they were first in love, and of definitions of my peers an what love is and how you know its real. 


	2. A Fairy Tale Heartbreak

Chapter Two: A Fairy Tale Heartbreak  
  
Real love stories never have endings.  
  
~Richard Bach~  
  
Here is a poem a 14-year-old girl wrote about her first love; I have changed the names out of respect for the author of the poem. The author will be known as Kate, and her boyfriend will be called Joe.  
  
Love  
  
Joe, I think I love you, When we kissed today my heart flew. I'm not sure what love is though. What it is, I'd like to know.  
  
I want to be with you forever, Living with you would make life a short endeavor. I know I've said I've loved in the past, But I think it is true now, I want us to last.  
  
I can't tell you this cuz I don't wanna scare you. When I'm away from you I feel so blue. I can't picture myself with anyone else now. Should I let you know? I don't know how.  
  
I love you Joe, I hope you do too. I hope we never break up; I'd freeze my heart blue. For I don't know if I'd ever love again. You're the most perfect of all other men.  
  
A few weeks after Kate wrote the above poem, she broke up with Joe, and later wrote the below poem, as a silent expression of her still strong feelings for Joe. During my interview with Kate, she said to me, "If I could have just one wish, it would be to turn back time and never have broken up with him. It's too late now though, he's moved on, and I'm stuck here, with a secret crush on a guy I shouldn't have let go."  
  
Miss  
  
I've done many stupid things, including dumping you. I want you back, but I don't know if I love you. I miss you so much it hurts my heart. I wish we were still together, I wish we never broke apart. I miss being in your arms; it's like my rightful place. I still go to sleep at night, just to dream of your face. I know you don't like me anymore, & it makes me so sad To know we'll probably never get back the relationship we had. Is it too late? Do we have no chance? If we still do, I'd go out with you, my heart would sing & dance. Joe, the day I cry for a guy is the day I lose a love. I haven't cried yet, but my pain is known, even in the stars above.  
  
About two weeks after composing that poem, Kate did cry for Joe. "I was thinking of all the things I liked about him, and I started crying. I miss him so much now. They say when one door closes, another one opens. Well, the doors are shut and locked, and there are no windows. God has left me here to suffocate and die alone." Broken-hearted Kate informed me of a note she wrote to Joe, telling him of her true feelings and her pain. When I asked if I could read the note, she politely declined and told me, "I don't want to pull it out, it's taking so much strength for me to function normally, and letting others read it, and reminding myself of it will weaken me too much, and I don't cry in front of people."  
  
This story of Kate and Joe doesn't have a fairy tale ending. To Joe it ended, but in Kate's eyes there is still a ray of hope, so she still holds in her heart the possibility of getting back together with him. 


	3. Seperation of Emotions

Chapter Three: Separation of Emotions  
  
We that are true lovers run into strange capers.  
  
~William Shakespeare~  
  
Feelings of infatuation, lust, and like are confused with love. Love means never having to say good-bye, for good-byes simply mean never seeing one another again. I wish I wasn't in love. I wouldn't be so sad when he is upset. I wouldn't cry and fear for him, despite his courage and strength. I wouldn't be ignorant to their imperfections. I wouldn't want to give him my promise of love and life forever. If you were in love, that's what you would feel. It's wonderful to be in love, when they love you back.  
  
A person who is infatuated wants nothing more than a relationship, being cared for and having someone to care for. Like is a fondness for, but not having really deep emotions towards one another. Lust is the physical desire all of us feel at one time or another.the desire for a person, closeness, intimacy. Love is none of these things; love is in a category of its own.  
  
Love is trust, it is loyalty, its everything rolled up into a four-letter word. Love gives us purpose. It grants us with hope. You can still like other people, but you remain with your love because the emotional pull towards them. When a person gets married, they often think it's the start of a new life together. It isn't, it's only the continuation of life with that person, and sharing another common bond: a last name. I'm not against marriage, or saying don't get married. I want to be married myself; I'm simply warning readers to get married for the right reasons. 


	4. Tellings From the Heart

Chapter Four: Tellings From the Heart  
  
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.  
  
~Aristotle~  
  
When I asked a peer of mine what their definition of love was, this is what her response, "True love is something between two people where you can do anything together and have no cares in the world. It's trusting another person with your heart." I asked her if she had ever been in love, and her quick reply was, "No. I'm too young to have experienced true love."  
  
I looked up 'love' on www.dictionary.com, a popular website for definitions. It said it had nine definitions. The closest one I found to my views is this, "A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance."  
  
I asked another person to define what love is, they replied, "When you cant feel for anybody else, they way you do about that one person you care about them and would take a bullet for them." I thanked them, and he asked me why I had asked. I smiled and said, "Because I writing something on love." And we left our conversation at that.  
  
My friend and I discussed briefly my quest to define and explain love. She commented on how cheesy the elements of love seem when investigated individually. The only colleague of mine that is in a relationship defined love as being, "An ultimate obsession with someone." Personally, I think love is not being able to live life normally without a person. It's not being able to see tomorrow without them. Love is giving the gift of your heart and soul, and receiving theirs in return.  
  
When asking a close friend of mine to define love, he believed, "Love is a very powerful and compelling emotion felt by two people." I asked a few more colleagues of mine what they thought love is, and the uncertainty in their responses compelled me not to include them. I continued my conversations by asking them if they had ever been in love, the responses did not surprise me. I received a unanimous, "No." Quickly the conversation topic changed. 


	5. Throwing Words

Chapter Five: Throwing Words  
  
To love a thing means wanting it to live.  
  
~Confucius~  
  
Many people don't ignore talking about love. Musicians sing about love often, especially in today's culture. It's a word we all throw around casually. Honestly, the word is overused and underrated. Claims to be in love are mistaken too much.  
  
How come we avoid topics of love? Is it due to the discomfort and cheesiness drawn out when love enters a conversation? The world has an egotistical population. We aren't ashamed of love, well, most of mankind. Its because people don't care unless they love you. Human nature, that's all it is. The only reasons a person may feel odd with declarations of love are: a.) Fear of the feeling not being returned, b). Uncertainty and fear of sounding cheesy and dumb c). They feel the need to say it, despite the truth, or lack thereof in their statement.  
  
One of the first things drivers do when they get into their car is turn on the radio, filling their vehicles with music and songs. Many of those songs are about love. Singers nowadays generally sing about love/sex, drugs, and emotional pain. The love songs, and heartbreak stories told in the lyrics are drilled into peoples' heads. On the streets, in the shower, along with the radio, citizens belt out songs they hear over and over again. Reading between the lines of the songwriter, one can discover little truths in some of the music they listen to, gain some insight on the feelings of love. Other songs however are full of crap. They don't know the feel of love; they don't know the strength of the word love, or its power. 


End file.
